While waiting for DNA results, I've just been trying to focus on just basics with Tessa & not enter anything new, because a level of frustration was definately there for me, & I had been getting confused.
Somedays it seems like we've come far, Tessa is house trained, crate trained, is pretty good for loose leash walking. I've worked the most on her socialisation, kids, dogs etc, daily.
Now enter in the teething & jaw settling, & well, it feels like everything is coming to a stand still. It seems the only thing aside from her walks that we (I) work on is "no", "leave it", "drop it". Baby gates abound & I can't even trust her for 2 minutes so I can run to pee.
My biggest frustration comes from the fact that Tessa can't seem to be contented by any 1, 2 or even 3 chew toys.
With every other dog I've had, yes, they're destructive when teething & jaw is settling, but you give them something to chew on & that does the trick.
Yes, you have to change it up with toys every so often & redirect-but they can maintain a contentedness in chew toys that allows you a break from constant redirecting.
Not so with Tessa. She doesn't even have a favorite toy, so redirecting & putting something in her mouth doesn't work well.
When she does on rare occaision find something she likes, it is short lived & she loses interest pretty fast. My house looks like a bomb went off, Tessa does seem to like corragated cardboard to rip up & chew, & sometimes wooden sticks, and old wool carpet sample she likes to pull to shreds--I'm fine with that, but none of these things keeps her interest very long.
Tessa is mellow & quiet--but she doesn't get contented.
Mellow & quiet does not equate to good-& this seems to be misunderstood by people.
I'm exhausted from feeling like my eyes must be on her at all times-because she watches & is aware of every movement I make even when she appears to be snoozing. She is so patient & will wait for an opportunity for my eyes to be off her--even when she's a few feet from me.
I am always gated in a room with her, because it has to be this way. Even then, she manages to get into things so so very quietly-& fast.
I try hard to wear her out, bodily, because then maybe her mind will stop-
She is a different type of destructive because she gets bored, I think this is more of a mind thing than a teething thing.
I am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of this tunnel.
Can a TM get to a level of trustworthiness in the house?
I am not sure if Tessa will ever be able to be trusted outside of a baby gated room without constant supervision. For instance, it is to the point where I can't even make dinner, & I drop from exhaustion, and hour & 1/2 walk before bed & still she wants to tear up everything. From 5:30 til midnight or 1am it is this way. She is no longer sleeping through the night, & I am back awake at 5-5:30 am.
Because She is crated while I am at work, I do not like to do that when I am home, and I feel that just makes her mind go more, & will create an aversion to her crate, so I have her in the room I am in, but use baby gates. And she doesn't use any chew toys when crated, I've given them to her, but she doesn't like any of them.
Honestly, I'm exhausted. I would love to find one thing that will keep her contented, I can even give her a good marrow bone, but she looks for other things.
In trying to exhaust her to the point where she will just sleep so I can get a break from the constant supervison, I'm beyond exhausted. It is pretty much constant focus on Tessa from 5:30-til past midnight.
Somewhere there's got to be a better way, I am so tired, just exhausted, that even thinking of training anything other than no/leave it/drop it seems impossible.
Redirecting does not work, she seems to make a game of it.
If I am actively engaged with her, she is fine, like fetching or walking-but I can't keep playing fetch or walking for 7 hours--How do you teach these dogs to play with a toy & self soothe?
And Tessa's habit of not getting up, or throwing herself at the floor when she doesn't want to do something has not really improved much.
Now she throws herself at the floor & belly crawls to get under bed or sofa.
Thing is, because she is so mellow & quiet, & low reactive I feel like the trainers I have asked to guide me ***DO NOT*** understand.
They see her sitting there appearing perfectly obedient.
Personally, I don't feel they 'get' a thinking dog-& Tessa is a thinker, she's an observer & she will out wait their efforts...
Since she's not jumping up & berzerking like the other dogs they deal with, I don't think they understand it's her mind that is active.
Also, I don't feel they quite equate that she behaves completely different both in my house if the trainer is here, or if I take her there. The mere presence of a 'non regular' person in her environment makes her alerted & focused differently.
I think what I am trying to explain is that they're probably never gonna see it cuz they do not live with her.
When she is relaxed & it's her & I is when it occurs. Enter in any different element & her focus is different, because whether they see it or not (due to her mellowness & low reactivity), she is focused on the fact that they are present, & they don't see it!!!!
Does this make any sense? I feel like I'm going nuts myself trying to explain-& I am loosing faith that the 2 trainers I seek guidance from really have a clue.
I do not think they buy that Tessa thinks differently, or that she 'thinks' --and Tessa DOES THINK--
I feel like I am getting dismissed as if I am telling them I have a unicorn...
Why do most believe a dog cannot think & make decisions?
I had a hard enough time trying to wrap my own head around the concept, & am not sure how it really works, but it seems a trainer should understand this about independent breeds.
Also want to note, neither of the trainers believes Tessa to be an independent breed.
Also I'm starting to believe that neither has any real experience with independent breeds, despite what they've said.
They seem to think she is unfocused & maybe just stuborn--
I'm going to give my assessment:
Tessa is not unfocused-quite the opposite-she is completely focused on what she wants BUT will appease you & bide her time --for however long it takes-she remembers the thing she wanted to do--even if you redirect her attention elsewhere--for hours. She remembers details also.
Now does this sound like crazy talk? Am I nuts for thinking this is what my pooch is doing?
Maybe I am reading too much into her behavior, but this REALLY seems to be what is going on.
-Tessa can put her wants on the back burner til the opportunity arises --but I'm being told dogs can't do this...That it's too complicated a thought process for a dog.
And I'm asking--because I feel like I need a reality check--If dogs can't think that way--then I need to change how I am perceiving.
