Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Just like the title says has anyone every had to "sit down" with their "boss" and did it make a difference afterwards? I say "boss" because the person is not really the one I report too.

 

[Mooshi's Mummy]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

I get what you mean DD but why? Did you ask for the meeting or did your boss? Are you worried?

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Well apparently this person has been making some quite unpleasant statements about my work performance to other employees, other leads, and even employers. I think this has cost me a job...but its hersay. This is not something that I am doing by choice MM but via the new contractor. They want me to have a sit down with him. To be honest I'm kind of mixed on the one hand we get to discuss the rumors I've been hearing about me but on the other hand I wonder if its even worth it. This guy threatened behind my back to fire me for false accusations, even though I was already being terminated for my previous contracting loss.

 

[Mooshi's Mummy]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Yikes....I think if you are completely professional, have someone there to document the meeting and stick to the subjects at hand then you cant go far wrong. Say it true and say it straight with grace and maturity and you will always come out on top!

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

I think the new employer will be there as well, but it still kind of made me upset to say the least. Especially when the new contractor makes little hints about the rocky relationship I've had with this lead. People from other sites who I've never see or hear from have been asking about me because of this person. So I'm really curious as to what he has been saying about me. I will say this with confidence he has nothing against my work ethic nor customer service orient. I've had no complaints and every single one of my customers enjoy the work I did and even vouched to help out if they could. Which eased the stress a bit but still. The damage he's done to me has already been done and now I have to work even harder to prove how wrong he was.

 

[AKBull]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

I suppose knee capping him is out of the question?

 

[angelbears]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Yikes....I think if you are completely professional, have someone there to document the meeting and stick to the subjects at hand then you cant go far wrong. Say it true and say it straight with grace and maturity and you will always come out on top!

Excellent advise! When you are right be firm but not nasty. Don't let him walk all over you, stand your ground but do it with fact, such as "no complaints" or here is a list of customers that will recommend me. Don't play the "he said, she said" game.

Good Luck!

 

[BlackShadowCaneCorso]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

You can pull it off, be the mature adult, bring your issues to the table and air it out. Let the new employers see you maturity and your willingness to work a difficult situation through.

 

[ruthcatrin]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Definetly make sure there's a witness to the conversation, someone of rank enough that he can't cow them into what he wants....

 

[thelady_v2010]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

That sucks! I agree, be professional and unemotional and I really hope for the best outcome.

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Thanks all and MM that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm nervous as hell only because I've never dealt with this before. I've never dealt with a person who is a "lead" like this before. I feel its a good thing but I can't help but think what has he been saying about me. The thing that pisses me off the most is that he NEVER came to me. He sent one of the other leads to tell me that he has a problem with me and to make matters worse its nothing to do with work. Which is why I can say with confidence he has nothing against my work ethics. I've kept a some things in the closet which I probably should have went to HR for but figured it wouldn't do much help.

Ruth I don't believe there are any witnesses that will attend our meeting. I tried to ask a "green suiter" if he would offer his notes on what the lead said about firing me. However he said he had to ask his superiors and never heard from him again. The only other proof is by obtraining documents notarized and signed by my customers. Even my work tickets. I can't believe I had to do something like this but like AB said that "he said she said" BS is old and something I do not do. For random military people to stop me in the hallway and tell me the things he's said is just...wow.....

As of right now I'm typing up a letter or speech if you will about the "incidents" he's had with me. And getting all my references and information together. I'm probably overdoing this but I'm treating this like a court date.

AKBull don't temp me :lol:

 

[BlackShadowCaneCorso]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

in my book there is no such thing as being too prepared! Have all your ducks in a row and present clear, consise facts with the back up.

 

[neona]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

As of right now I'm typing up a letter or speech if you will about the "incidents" he's had with me. And getting all my references and information together. I'm probably overdoing this but I'm treating this like a court date.

You've already gotten the good advice. I'll just add that you can't really overdo something like this. Having things in print in front of you will help in case the other person blind sides you with something so you don't lose track. Personally, I always have all points/examples written in front of my for any type of meeting because I do get off track easily, especially when I feel attacked. My last job was a really negative environment and that's where I learned my lessons. Thankfully my current place is a wonder of smart, positive, helpful people Good luck!

 

[DennasMom]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Good idea to write up the letter and get all your "court documentation" ready... just in case.

I'd also write up a less formal bunch of notes on what questions you'd like to ask him... i.e. "why didn't you come to me first when you had issues?" and you can spin it to assuage his ego with "is there something you'd like me to do to make sure this doesn't happen in the future?"

You can also write what you'd REALLY like to say to this knucklehead... then read it out loud before you delete it without saving it.

My one sit-down with the boss didn't go as planned... I decided to ask for a raise, considering I hadn't had one in 2 years, but had been given many, many additional responsibilities (in line with department managers who I knew were getting 20% higher incomes than I... but... they're MEN... one with more experience [justified], one with LESS...).

When I asked him if he thought experience gained outside our company (a specialized consulting firm) was worth more than that gained inside the company (i.e. the man with LESS, was relatively new to the company)... he said "well, yes, of course it is." with this "duh!" look on his face.

That was when I knew I would not be sticking around with that company for long... 9 months later I quit so I could work for myself.
My new boss is MUCH easier to communicate with. LOL.

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

This is why I LOVE this forum, so much support, great tips and suggestions. I honestly don't think I'd keep my sanity without the help of this place.

Denna's Mom, its amazing how one person can toxic the atmosphere. I glad you were able to get out of that situation and into something better. Its great inspiration that's for sure.

 

[CeeCee]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Okay, question...I know that people have asked you to talk to him, but why? Why are they not talking to him?

I ask because I tend to be of the opinion that people can say what they will. I make sure my boss and my clients are happy and I let my work speak for itself. I am very careful to always let my boss know what I'm doing and what I've accomplished so he has the facts and is never in the dark. (I work remotely and I know some people are not happy with it so just to be safe I am very careful to communicate.)

I have also learned to keep a "kudos" file and when anyone takes the time to give me a kudos, I share it with my boss then I file it and bring them out at annual review time.

I am all for sticking up for yourself, but my concern is always sinking to their level and getting caught in a he said/she said situation. I do understand that this person may have already cost you a job and done damage to your professional reputation so maybe you need to.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. I vote factual, professional, and non-emotional.

 

[Penelope's Mom]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

I've been the "boss" and I completely agree with the advice you've been given. I paid much more attention to the person who was level-headed, confident, and factual, not the blabbermouth who was too concerned with ratting everyone else out instead of doing his or her job.

You got this.

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Okay, question...I know that people have asked you to talk to him, but why? Why are they not talking to him?

I ask because I tend to be of the opinion that people can say what they will. I make sure my boss and my clients are happy and I let my work speak for itself. I am very careful to always let my boss know what I'm doing and what I've accomplished so he has the facts and is never in the dark. (I work remotely and I know some people are not happy with it so just to be safe I am very careful to communicate.)

I have also learned to keep a "kudos" file and when anyone takes the time to give me a kudos, I share it with my boss then I file it and bring them out at annual review time.

I am all for sticking up for yourself, but my concern is always sinking to their level and getting caught in a he said/she said situation. I do understand that this person may have already cost you a job and done damage to your professional reputation so maybe you need to.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. I vote factual, professional, and non-emotional.

Cee Cee, I'm still not sure of the details in itself but given this particular lead has had "issues" with me. The new contractor wants us to do a "sit down" There's no date or anything for me to go by.......I'll just have to wait until I hear something.

 

[Duetsche_Doggen]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

I've been the "boss" and I completely agree with the advice you've been given. I paid much more attention to the person who was level-headed, confident, and factual, not the blabbermouth who was too concerned with ratting everyone else out instead of doing his or her job.

You got this.

All I ask for honestly.....that's all. If he had issues with me over whatever reason I just wish he would have addressed it to me. Not rumors. It sounds sneaky to me and I hate sneaky. I'm not afraid to admit I've made mistakes hell even here. I'm not afraid to admit I was wrong. Truth hurts its a fact of life.

 

[Bailey's Mom]

Re: Sit down with "boss"...Anyone done it?

Wondering if you've had that meeting DD?
I've been there, done that and it's a stomach turning experience, but I had my facts down pat, even had him so steamed he signed off on a statement of facts, then I hung him out to dry. Hope you turn the table on this guy or put an enormous spotlight on the inaccuracies in his beef. Let us know. We're rooting for you.