Found this on facebook courtesy of Great Lakes Mastiff Rescue
1) Lift a hundred pound bag of wet sand up and down the stairs
2) Push a hundred pound bag of wet sand into your car
3) Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV, while you're at it, smear the lower half of all windows, curtains and glass
4) Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle
5) At least twice daily, drop that bag of wet sand on your bare foot
6) Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house daily (add water for rainy days)
7) Practice repeating “English mastiff, about 200 pounds…8-10 cups a day…"no, I don’t have a saddle†over and over with a smile
8) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their poop
9) Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom while you are using it
10) Practice telling people that your husband does NOT beat you, that those bruises are from your dog!
11) Take a nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male where he doesn't like to be hit and smack your own legs a few times too
12) Have someone operate a chain saw at the foot of your bed all night...record this and play it every night close to your ear
1) Lift a hundred pound bag of wet sand up and down the stairs
2) Push a hundred pound bag of wet sand into your car
3) Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV, while you're at it, smear the lower half of all windows, curtains and glass
4) Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle
5) At least twice daily, drop that bag of wet sand on your bare foot
6) Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house daily (add water for rainy days)
7) Practice repeating “English mastiff, about 200 pounds…8-10 cups a day…"no, I don’t have a saddle†over and over with a smile
8) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their poop
9) Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom while you are using it
10) Practice telling people that your husband does NOT beat you, that those bruises are from your dog!
11) Take a nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male where he doesn't like to be hit and smack your own legs a few times too
12) Have someone operate a chain saw at the foot of your bed all night...record this and play it every night close to your ear
