"I bet your dog could take my dog"
or
Person: "OMG what is he?"
me: a Bullmastiff
Person: "a bull massive"
me: no, a Bullmastiff
Person: "I don't think so, you got ripped off, because those massive dogs usually are like 350lbs and only live until they are like 2".
me: stood in silence and awe because there were no words. then kept walking.
or
3 year old: my little pony mommy
mom: no that's a big puppy
3 year old: my little puppy
or
Gunner was on leash sitting in front of me waiting for his treat because he was being calm and letting children pet him, a little yorkie came up and jumped in his face and nipped, I stood in between the york & Gunner, it left, then it came up again and nipped his face again and growled, I told Gunner leave it .. he did... I swatted the york away again and looked for the owner, saw a women gingerly approaching. Then the Yorkie came back I managed to grab onto it's collar this time but then it turned and nipped my hand and went at Gunner again! Gunner growled and sort of snapped back at the pup, I corrected Gunner and re focused his attention on me and he then went right back to sitting. The Women FINALLY approached, swooped her dog up into her arms ... and says "WOW, your dog is only a puppy and already that agressive and mean, you should not own that type of dog, and your dog will have to be put down before it's a year old". A stranger who witnessed the scenario, came to me after and said she could not believe what the woman said to me and that if her dog was in the same position as Gunner (getting nipped at and growled at) her dog would have let it happen couple times then ripped the dog a new one!.
or
"You could win some cash in a dog fighting ring" (STILL boiling with anger about that one!)