Well I don't think it's irrational. All of my dogs have been cremated and they will all be mixed with my ashes someday and used to plant a strong tree. I keep their collars and a favorite toy put away and I don't share with other dogs. Everyone grieves in their own way and it's not right or wrong, it just is. I clearly remember standing on the deck about three weeks after Ed passed and my husband coming up to me, taking me in his arms and saying, "You *will* be happy again." I did feel happy again, but it took much longer than I expected. I think I should have talked to someone because I just felt despair. I had this Patricia McConnell quote as my signature for years in honor of Ed, "He took my heart and ran with it, and he's running still, fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his, forever." Some dogs just hold an extra special place. You shared many years with Cerberus. I think what you're feeling is completely normal. Hugs.