I was in a similar situation although we both agreed years ago that our next dog would be an EM. When I nearly lost my Rotty at age 7 to a Addisonian crisis (and his first diagnosis of Addison's disease) we suddenly realised that our dog was "old" as far as big dogs go, and now that he was on 10 tablets a day just to keep him alive, we knew that our time with him waslimited. We spoke about what would happen if and when we lost him, and I told DH that I didn't want to be without a dog for very long. For one thing he didn't get home until nearly midnight, and I prefer the security of a dog to alert me to things, and for another my dog was my hobby - I did obedience and agility training with him and trialling every month, which I loved. WIth a dud knee there isn't much sport I can get involved in so a dogless life isn't fun. Luckily, my Rotty handled the treatment well and continued to thrive for the next 3 years until he got cancer, and could not be operated on due to the Addison's Disease, so it was a rather sudden goodbye.
Our son was just 4 months old so DH said he didn't want another dog for at least 6 months. My search for a new dog only went as far as finding more about the breed. My son is now turning 6 next week and we still don't have a dog. I have been asking about it for a few years now, and he just wouldn't buyt in, using the excuse that our son was too young, then we had our daughter (who is now almost 3) and he said she was too young. I decided enough was enough as my son is now afraid of dogs and I always wanted my children to grow up with dogs. So I started looking seriously at the beginning of this year. I sent a breeder an email asking about the time frame for a puppy and she sent me photos of pups that were available right away. I chickened out knowing that DH wasn't ready and I hadn't told him I was looking so I didn't go aheadwith a purchase. I thought that if I could just present him with all the information he would come around. Unfortunately he saw the email with photos and assumed I had already bought a dog and was fuming. As much as a dog is an important part of your life, it is better to bring it into a home where it is completely welcome. That way the dog has every opportunity to settle in, gain attention and love from everyone in the household with no annimousity (it isn't the dog's fault) and more likely to be in it's forever home when it joins your household. Even in my situation where my husband has insisted no dog for the past 6 years after promiosing that "we wouldn't be dogless very long" I couldn't go all the way to bringing a dog home if I couldn't be sure it would be completely welcome.
I have now convinced him that even though our daughter isn't 6 (he seems to think children need to be 6 to have a big dog around) that we are ready for a new dog. He wasn't happy at first when I told him that I had been speaking with breeders and a dog might be available soon, but I soon caught him discussing names with the kids and telling me he looks forward to having a dog around. Now I just hope our puppy gets healthy so we can finally welcome him home! (Issues with bowed legs atm - covered in the health and nutrition area).
If she wants a dog, then discussing what you want as well as what the kids want and then following through that you are the only one who will be doing the grunt work, then she will be much happier and the puppy won't receive a cold reception coming home. (Note, I don't know if your wife would do that and I usually melt within minutes of seeing a new puppy but I have known people who will give the cold reception...even to a puppy.)
