Thanks so much for sharing those. I think some of my favorite pictures are of him in the fountain. Such a beautiful boy with so much personality. I've been wondering how you're doing. How are you doing?
Look what I found, Boxergirl...
And, I am not sure how to answer that question. I have received incredible support from friends, and that has helped a lot. as I tend to isolate at times . In fact, after he died, I barely left my apt. for 3 days (except to go buy more alcohol.) I think I was in shock...and needed to try to process what had just happened, so suddenly, on my own.
But, on day 4, I took a long walk. I followed the path of our last, long walk together, just the day before he passed...down by the river. I ended up at a long row of benches, facing the water, where Mateo climbed up and sat down. We had sat there together, watching the boats go by... I remember him looking up in the sky and watching the seagulls (something he had never done before...). Anyway, when I reached the bench on my solitary walk, I sat down...and wept.
And if I was honest, I can say that the tears have not really stopped. It's been one month today, and it still feels like a giant, throbbing ache in my heart.
I understand, the price of love is the pain of loss. But that boy.... there are simply no words. Except to say that through all the losses in my life, this one has brought me to my knees with grief.
Thank you for asking....I am "alright", really. One step in front of the other...
And I have to say, Mateo was known and loved by so many people! People I have barely known, who had met him, stood and sobbed with me over his loss. That he could affect so many, in such a positive way, is a beautiful thing...
