What's new
Mastiff Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • Welcome back!

    We decided to spruce things up and fix some things under the hood. If you notice any issues, feel free to contact us as we're sure there are a few things here or there that we might have missed in our upgrade.

Your most embarrassing moment...

voidecho

Well-Known Member
I didn't drink in high school, so when I went to college I tried to make up for lost time and went overboard many, many times...this being one of them.

Went to a party my first semester of college and got completely shit faced. Came back to my dorms that had a communal bathroom on each floor and proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach in one of the stalls. Guy I knew from the floor kind of helped me a little and at least checked on me. After I was done, he asked if I needed him to walk me back down the hall to my room and I unfortunately declined.

So I walked back down towards my room and in my current state was unable to count the number of doors I'd passed and I went one door too far. My neighbors didn't lock their door so at around 3am I walked into their room which was set up just like mine with a bed on each side of the room. I walked into the middle of the room, stripped down buck naked and started to get into "my" bed only to find someone in it. I was confused (certainly not as confused as my neighbor) why someone was in "my" bed, but instead of telling them to get out, I ripped the blanketet away from him, laid down on the carpet in the middle of their room and went to sleep.

I woke up at 7am and had no idea where I was. I was completely naked, and I was freezing cold because during the night I'd apparently decided to piss the bed (the bed of course being their floor, carpet and blanket).

They were both still in bed so I quietly got up, grabbed my clothes, opened the door, realized where I was, and did the naked cover your privates with your clothes walk to my door ten feet away. I was so embarrassed when I finally woke up.

I'm laughing my ass off at it now, but my neighbor didn't have my sense of humor and was actually pretty pissed. We weren't best buds after that.
 

LauraR

Well-Known Member
I have many embarrassing stories, I'll share more once I get to a computer
Before I start I need to mention that I have ulcerative colitis and other digestive/intestinal issues. To sum it up, when it's flared up I have about 30 seconds warning to get to a bathroom....if i'm lucky.
Last summer I took my boys and very new husband camping at a nearby lake. Nearby being 30 minutes away from home. camping went well and we got everything packed up. I then felt the rumble. I tried to tell my hubby to watch the kids for a minute and started searching for anything to use a make-shift bathroom. My hubby obviously did not catch on to this dire situation. He sneaks up behind me, and them pulls me towards him, by my waist. Then he squeezes my waist trying to be cute. Not only did this make me MASSIVELY shit my self, but it happened at the same exact moment he decided to grab my ass. I was wearing shorts. I pooped in his hand.
For some reason he still stays with me lol!
Sent from my PantechP9070 using Tapatalk 2
 
Last edited:

AKBull

Super Moderator
Staff member
i have many embarrassing stories, i'll share more once i get to a computer
before i start i need to mention that i have ulcerative colitis and other digestive/intestinal issues. To sum it up, when it's flared up i have about 30 seconds warning to get to a bathroom....if i'm lucky.
Last simmer i took my boys and very new husband camping at a nearby lake. Nearby being 30 minutes away from home. Camping went well and we got everything packed up. I then felt the rumble. I tried to tell my hubby to watch the kids for a minute and started searching for anything to use aa make shift bathroom. My hubby obviously did not catch on to this dire situation. He sneaks up behind m me, and them pulls me towards him, by my waist. Then he squeezes my waist trying to be cute. Not only did this make me massively shit my self, but out happened at the same exact moment he decided to grab my ass. I was wearing shorts. I pooped in his hand.
For some reason he still stays with me lol!
Sent from my pantechp9070 using tapatalk 2


you win
 

LauraR

Well-Known Member
Aww, so soon? I still have so many stories to share!

Sent from my PantechP9070 using Tapatalk 2
 

LauraR

Well-Known Member
Him and I are standing on my apartment balcony smoking, he has one of those cheapo lighters that you can make sound like you're lighting them without actually producing flame. He kept teasing me like he was going to burn me with it and I jumped every time. Well I was wearing cut off shorts and the LAST time he did it, he accidentally created a flame. The fray is apparently very flammable and my shorts caught on fire. I'm not talking small flame, we're talking blaze. Out of instinct I take them off and throw them over the edge(parking lot so no risk of causing more fire). Then I realized that I was making so much noise screaming and swearing that now everyone was outside looking to see what was wrong. All they see is my burning shorts down below and my naked lower half just hanging out on my balcony. Good times, good times.
 

jcook

Well-Known Member
When I was 12 I went to the Michigan State fair and my sister and I went to buy some ostrich jerky. Well, I thought the people had put out a plate of samples (they were little pieces on toothpicks) and there were four people eating them right on the counter of the stand (they didnt take the plate to go sit down or anything) so I thought they were samples and walked up and took one, they all looked at me weird and I realized that I was just eating their food ha.

I also hit a parked car right after I got my license. And it was just my luck that the owners of this NEW car were walking out of the store when it happened. They had a newborn baby and the mom was PISSED.
 

LauraR

Well-Known Member
I also hit a parked car. My very first day ever of driving alone. I initially just lightly grazed it. So I backed up, readjusted and tried again, hit it a second time. Okay, third time's a charm, backed up, tried again, this time I hit it so hard it literally lifted off of the ground several inches. The guy was apparently watching me from the store window the entire time.
Good news though, he wasn't mad, he had been bugging his wife to let him get a new car and he said he was just going to lie to her and say the "dick drove off". Gave him my info anyway, but I did not help the stereotype of women drivers a single bit that day.
 

jcook

Well-Known Member
okay you guys are making me feel better about myself. so my boyfriend just got my car painted for my birthday, it hasnt even been two weeks yet and today I cut it too close when trying to get out of a tight spot and I grazed the wall just TINY bit. Thank god is hardly noticeable, but i still feel really stupid! I havent bumped into anything for years!!

and again with the amazing stories Laura!! hahah, omg THREE times, hahahha.
 

NYDDB

Well-Known Member
This is at least an "R" rating, but I'll try to make it "PG...." :eek:

Several years ago I was with my boyfriend in the kitchen of my first floor apartment, saying good night to him. I was leaning against the butcher block counter, and he was holding me, very close. Well, one thing led to another...and we soon had stripped off most of our clothes and were full-on into a fast and furious quickie, using the counter in all kinds of creative ways.

As soon as we were "finished", we heard a loud cheer and clapping coming from outside my window in the front room. The window (street level) was in direct view straight to the kitchen where we were standing, still breathing heavy and with half our clothes on the floor. Apparently a small crowd had gathered and watched the whole show. I almost died. My boyfriend just laughed it off...