Why is my daughter scared?

[Mastiff-is-the-BEST]

Everyone in my family love dogs. But when we go over to my brothers house, my four year old little girl gets scared out of her mind. My brother has a 260 pound English mastiff, and a 150 pound Great Dane the dogs are really sweet. But for some reason my daughter doesn’t want to be anywhere near them. . From day one, she has just been terrified of the dog, she was really hesitant to meet the dog the first time, she did it. But then I noticed that she was afraid.

why is this? We have a border collie at home and they get along and play together just fine. Even when they first met on day one. When my brothers dog starts barking or stands up, or just walks near her, my daughter will run to me wanting to be picked up. She doesn’t even want to be in the same room as them. , even when I’m holding her In my arms, she doesn’t want me to go anywhere near them.

of course I respect my daughter and I make sure she feels safe. But why is she like this?

My brothers dogs has done nothing wrong. Why is she acting so scared of him? Like I said we have a border collie at home and they play together. Is she just pretending to be scared for attention ? What’s up? I just don’t see why it’s so scary about mastiff or Dane?

 

[Boxergirl]

Welcome. I saw this post almost verbatim elsewhere about six months ago. The advice given on that other thread, if it was yours, was solid. It doesn't matter why your child is afraid. The fact is that she *is* afraid and the dogs should be kept separate from her while you visit. You daughter is four years old. A 260 pound anything is likely to be scary to her. A child that age does NOT pretend to be afraid for attention and I find it concerning that you would suggest such a thing. According to you she's not just scared, but "scared out of her mind." Please request that your brother separate the dogs from your child and if that's not possible then I would not go to his house.

 

[glen]

Welcome to the forum,
An english mastiff and a great dane is a big difference in size to what your daughters used to, but no matter what the dog is or who owns them if shes scared then keep them at a distance from her, if they cant be away from her dont take her to visit.
Iv owned rotties,cane corsos but and i will go into a house with any dog, but if a cat is around im gone.

 

[Bolushi]

Everyone in my family love dogs. But when we go over to my brothers house, my four year old little girl gets scared out of her mind. My brother has a 260 pound English mastiff, and a 150 pound Great Dane the dogs are really sweet. But for some reason my daughter doesn’t want to be anywhere near them. . From day one, she has just been terrified of the dog, she was really hesitant to meet the dog the first time, she did it. But then I noticed that she was afraid.

why is this? We have a border collie at home and they get along and play together just fine. Even when they first met on day one. When my brothers dog starts barking or stands up, or just walks near her, my daughter will run to me wanting to be picked up. She doesn’t even want to be in the same room as them. , even when I’m holding her In my arms, she doesn’t want me to go anywhere near them.

of course I respect my daughter and I make sure she feels safe. But why is she like this?

My brothers dogs has done nothing wrong. Why is she acting so scared of him? Like I said we have a border collie at home and they play together. Is she just pretending to be scared for attention ? What’s up? I just don’t see why it’s so scary about mastiff or Dane?

The kid wasn't raised with big dogs. My sisters (4yo and 7yo currently) were raised with 2 bloodhounds (one of which is 150lbs) since they were puppies and as the dogs grew they became accustomed to their size. Unlike your little girl who has a 260lb mastiff that she wasn't there to watch grow. A 50lb border collie is the same size as the girl, so she's going to be more comfortable with the border collie. If you came across a 1000lb 600'' man you wouldn't want to go near him no matter how nice he is, right?

 

[LOKI-EFC]

She is scared of them because they are very large carnivores which could easily kill her. But the key isn't hiding the child away from big dogs so she can develope an irrational fear into adulthood. If you regularly visit your brothers house with your child, you must first lay a few ground rules and desensitise your child to being around large dogs.

1, The dogs must be well trained and under control at all times around the child.
2, When the child is at the house the dogs should be in place command.
3, The child should not interact with the dogs as the dogs do not live with he child so there is no need for interaction.
4, Following on from point 3, teach the child to be neutral towards the dogs and ignore them whilst they are in the place command.
5, Over time once the child sees how controlled and calm the dogs are she will gain confidence and lose her fear of the dogs through desensitisation.

 

[Boxergirl]

She is scared of them because they are very large carnivores which could easily kill her. But the key isn't hiding the child away from big dogs so she can develope an irrational fear into adulthood. If you regularly visit your brothers house with your child, you must first lay a few ground rules and desensitise your child to being around large dogs.

1, The dogs must be well trained and under control at all times around the child.
2, When the child is at the house the dogs should be in place command.
3, The child should not interact with the dogs as the dogs do not live with he child so there is no need for interaction.
4, Following on from point 3, teach the child to be neutral towards the dogs and ignore them whilst they are in the place command.
5, Over time once the child sees how controlled and calm the dogs are she will gain confidence and lose her fear of the dogs through desensitisation.

I'm of the opinion that managing the dogs by keeping them separate shouldn't create a lifelong fear of large dogs, but not keeping them separate and managing all interactions may. I'm not disagreeing with what you've suggested at all, just saying that it takes a lot of time and commitment and skill to do the things you've listed above and the OP may only visit on holidays or special occasions. Counter conditioning and desensitization are absolutely the way to go, but that takes time and a certain familiarity with the process that the OP may not have. That's why the suggestion for separation at this point is perhaps best for the safety of all. IMO

 

[Mastiff-is-the-BEST]

She is scared of them because they are very large carnivores which could easily kill her. But the key isn't hiding the child away from big dogs so she can develope an irrational fear into adulthood. If you regularly visit your brothers house with your child, you must first lay a few ground rules and desensitise your child to being around large dogs.

1, The dogs must be well trained and under control at all times around the child.
2, When the child is at the house the dogs should be in place command.
3, The child should not interact with the dogs as the dogs do not live with he child so there is no need for interaction.
4, Following on from point 3, teach the child to be neutral towards the dogs and ignore them whilst they are in the place command.
5, Over time once the child sees how controlled and calm the dogs are she will gain confidence and lose her fear of the dogs through desensitisation.

Sorry, but I’m not understanding how my brothers dogs could ”easily kill her.” Couldn’t my border collie do the same? I mean, the border collie is a good 10 pounds heavier and a smidge taller than my little girl.
And you know what’s funny, our border collie has both actually knocked over and trampled my daughter a few times on accident, just from an exciting greeting or something like that, never on purpose and she didn’t even let that scare her.
So what is the difference would be great Dane in English mastiff?

 

[Mastiff-is-the-BEST]

She is scared of them because they are very large carnivores which could easily kill her. But the key isn't hiding the child away from big dogs so she can develope an irrational fear into adulthood. If you regularly visit your brothers house with your child, you must first lay a few ground rules and desensitise your child to being around large dogs.

1, The dogs must be well trained and under control at all times around the child.
2, When the child is at the house the dogs should be in place command.
3, The child should not interact with the dogs as the dogs do not live with he child so there is no need for interaction.
4, Following on from point 3, teach the child to be neutral towards the dogs and ignore them whilst they are in the place command.
5, Over time once the child sees how controlled and calm the dogs are she will gain confidence and lose her fear of the dogs through desensitisation.

Sorry. I meant to say at the border collie is a good 20 pounds heavier, not 10.

 

[glen]

Do you visit often, also do you visit other households with other dogs, does she ever interact with other dogs.
It could just be the size of the, my kids and noe grankids have always been raised with xl dogs, but some of there friends that had dogs at home would be scared stiff of our dogs. We see them as normal, not every kid or adult does, it doesnt mean the dogs arent ok. It just means the child or adult has a fear due to size.

 

[LOKI-EFC]

I'm of the opinion that managing the dogs by keeping them separate shouldn't create a lifelong fear of large dogs, but not keeping them separate and managing all interactions may. I'm not disagreeing with what you've suggested at all, just saying that it takes a lot of time and commitment and skill to do the things you've listed above and the OP may only visit on holidays or special occasions. Counter conditioning and desensitization are absolutely the way to go, but that takes time and a certain familiarity with the process that the OP may not have. That's why the suggestion for separation at this point is perhaps best for the safety of all. IMO

I would still disagree but can certainly see your point, each to their own I guess. As you say it will come down to each person's specific experience, knowledge base, and dedication to the process.

 

[LOKI-EFC]

Sorry, but I’m not understanding how my brothers dogs could ”easily kill her.” Couldn’t my border collie do the same? I mean, the border collie is a good 10 pounds heavier and a smidge taller than my little girl.
And you know what’s funny, our border collie has both actually knocked over and trampled my daughter a few times on accident, just from an exciting greeting or something like that, never on purpose and she didn’t even let that scare her.
So what is the difference would be great Dane in English mastiff?

Of course a border collie could still cause significant damage, an probably easily kill your child if it wanted to. But the difference in sheer size , ability and willingness to do so is noticeable even by children. Your collie that lives in your home with you, that your daughter is conditioned to seeing/being around is a completely different experience to a large mastiff bred for guarding purposes and sometimes weighing more than a full grown man, which she does not live with. If you fail to see how a 200lb mastiff dog could easily kill a small child I have to question your ability to think and reason properly. Mastiffs and collies are like comparing apples to oranges, one is a small to medium herding breed bred to be soft and bend to its master will, mastiffs are giant breeds bred to distrust strangers ,guard properties from intruders/wild animals with violence, have a high pain thresholds, powerful jaws and muscles on top of muscles and are much more stubborn harder to control especially for novices.