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hearts just shattered

lisa21

Member
I may be fairly young and have probably made loads of mistakes in bringing up dogs but one thing is for sure- i loved those boys and girls with all my heart.
To date I have had 5 dogs and 2 bitches. All various breeds. Each dog that has passed I have been there with my equally devoted mum and hugged them while they drift away.
Brian was my Bassett Hound and by golly everyone knew he was my dog! He was my best friend, and so damn handsome! But my poor darling Brian got bloat and as I type this I am over come with emotion remembering that day.
Despite speeding to the vets Brian had already displayed the signs for well over an hour and once we had got to the vets they had to x-ray to see how bad it was. The vet had told me that if it was her dog and that he was Brian's age (10 years) she would put him to rest. I had decided thats what I had to do and would be cradling him in my arms just as I had with my other pals. Only when my parents came in Brian wagged his tail and my dad said that he wasn't ready to go so he fronted the cash for the operation.
I watched the vet lead my beautiful friend into one of the rooms and we went home.
Brian meant more to me than most human beings.
At 7am the following morning the vet rang and told us that Brian did not make the night. I had left him to die alone. Nobody will ever know how my heart breaks every time I think about him being there without me.
I have his ashes and every morning I give the box a gentle kiss or a wipe over with my hand.
My dad got me Cliff on saturday. I think he feels guilty about the decision to put Brian through the op. I don't blame him though but I hate myself for leaving him. He was probably the only one of my dogs I should have been with and I wasn't.
I have so many wonderful memories of him, in my heart he is firmly in place.

I read the post about Thor and cried so hard. How do we keep going without our best friends
 

Duetsche_Doggen

Well-Known Member
At work now in tears, I'm SO sorry to read this......I can't even begin where to start..... I know how you feel.

I feel like I failed Thor, I still think about that day and reply it, over and over. I didn't say this in the post but I thought Thor was gone when he wasn't moving in my truck. After 7-10 minutes of the staff trying to get him out of my truck and onto the table. The vet said he was still breathing but faint. She said that he took one last breathe and was just gone. Even though it would be hard I still wished I had been there to hold him. I didn't get a chance to hold Thor until the aftermath. I still feel bad. Its hard thinking about going forward, I still struggle with it, some days just randomly crying because I miss him.

I have nothing but a cyber hug and condolences for your lost. :( The only thing you can do is think about the great times you've had with Brian.
 

lisa21

Member
Duetsche_doggen, I don't think you failed Thor, you did everything you could for him. By reading your words I can just tell how much you loved him. With every piece of your heart.
The bit in your story that got me thinking back to Brian was where you mention his head on you. Brian was a terror on car journeys but that day he had his little head on my shoulder the whole way to vet. I like to think it was Brian's way of saying good bye.
People who are not 'dog lovers' will never fully understand how we are affected when they pass. It never gets easier and the pain never goes away.
My head hurt from crying when I read your post. Those words you wrote about him tell me how special he was.
It broke my heart but I'm glad I read it.
Stone also sounds like an absolute treasure. In our hardest times are dogs are always there.
 

DennasMom

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry. Tears are starting here, now, too.

I for one, believe Brian knew you were with him in spirit. He may have slipped away when you weren't there to save you from the pain of being present. Our dogs are always trying to save us from hurt. They are truly the best. I'm glad you have a new puppy to help you share Brian's love. As I think of it from our last pup - he taught us so much about love which will never be forgotten, that I know he intended for us to share that forward with another dog. Denna is getting the benefits of his teaching - and we get the benefits of the love she returns to us. It's a painful, but beautiful cycle of life.
 

mx5055

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry for your loss...I lost my heart dog in Oct 2012, so I know the pain. Hope your new pup helps with healing; I know getting my new pup Bella is helping me move forward :)
 

Bigdaddyjak

Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss. Agree with previous posts, Max's puppy antics have definitely helped everyone in our family to deal with the loss of Angus. Hope the same happens for you, and you can remember the great life you gave your boy.