Your thoughts for a special boy.

[jstroke]

I wanted to introduce myself and ask for some opinions. Dave here from Columbus Ohio. I have a unique situation and we are doing intense research in order to provide the best possible outcome. I am not looking for a guarantee. I am looking for thoughtful responses.

We are a family of five. Three boys, 8,10,12. We have the typical chaotic household , busy with school, boy scouts, home maintenance and family BS. We live in a typical middle class neighborhood. We have a large fenced backyard. and we are not new to dogs or training etc. We have trained plenty of dogs with excellent success. We have owned black labs, red healers, a lab/chow mix all with excellent manners and very socialized.

However this is where it gets slightly unique.

We are blessed with a gift. My middle son, 10, has sever autism. He is a wonderful and happy boy. He loves dogs, is patient, kind and gentle. However he loves to be very very close to them. He likes to touch and stroke and essentially "merge with the dog". He wants to sit in the same chair or "on them". he is very aware of putting too much physical pressure. He listens if we tell him not to. He doesn't pitch a fit and he knows to be careful. He has shown this with an elderly dog with bad hips--he is very gentle. But the need to be very very near them has not been a fad. The need is not constant at all times. He will come and go, make contact and then be off about his business. He is not hyper. He does not pull or pinch or scratch or tease. But a dog who needs a lot of space will not work for this family. Some breeds are inherently this way. If you get in their face they become uncomfortable and leave or snip. Obviously each dog is an individual. I completely understand that.

I want to be very clear. The dog is not for service in the traditional sense. It does not need to help him with tasks. It does not need to direct him. The dog needs to be a solid presence. It cannot be flighty. Example--goldens are very loving but they tend to be focused on either a job or are easily distracted and they have the constant need to please. Border Collies need a job at all times given to them. In this case they would want to either herd him or he would have to interact with them around the job. This is not possible. I need the focus of the dog to be on him and the family, there for him, but not really directing him. It might warn him or us if there is a problem. But not necessarily try to solve the problem.

The dog also needs to be able to absorb the chaos of living in a house with a child who has special needs and who will remain calm. I don't need the dog reacting to and thus creating more chaos and excitement. A chiwawa, or some of the terriers comes to mind as the exact opposite of what we need. Not that they are not great dogs. Just not for us.

I am reaching out to those of you who can understand our needs. Is this the type of behavior on a gut level instinct that The English Mastiff exemplifies. I am looking at several breeds, but this is admittedly with the research I have done near the top of the list. Obviously I will research the breeder, explain our needs and visit with the pups parents. I will do everything necessary to make sure I am making as educated a decision as possible.

Thank You
Dave

 

[cinnamon roll]

Welcome to the forum.

I think an English would be a great fit for your family.

They are attention hogs and love to be VERY VERY near to their family. English Mastiffs are known for being very gentle and extremely loving.

 

[levuris.smith]

Dave,
I have seen this with friend of mines and he also has son that is 9 with autism and this is the reason that got a Mastiff. His son loves attention and that what he get with is puppy. Mastiff are loving and love any and all attention given to them. If u are looking for a breed that your son can get close to and can rub, play, and grow with then u are looking at the right breed. Just because he has autism doesn't limited him and he know how to take care of his puppy because his parent have given him all the tools and guidance to making sure he does right by his mastiff. I have to admit that he is very protective of my friend son and you can see the bond that they share between them. I would suggest u continue to do your research, but would tell u from experience u are not making bad choice and I would actually suggest it!!!!!


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[gilles]

if the climate is not hot you can get a st bernard or a newfoundland too they are known to love children and to be very very patient with them.

 

[angelbears]

I think a mastiff would be great. I think what might be hard is finding the right one. I have heard of organizations and rescues that help place the right pups/dogs to the right family. Have you checked into one of those?

 

[Max's mom]

I think your choice of EM is a good one. You sound realistic with your expectations of the dog and obviously understand your son, his strengths and limitations. EMs are know as velco dogs and thrive on human contact and being close to their human. I only have one year with my EM, but mine is very intutive. He knows when we are worked up/stressed/bad day, and behaves one way but when sad or mad humans are near, he behaves a little differently. He seems to give space to the person who is stressed but is very nearby and attentive. Ready for pets when asked to come closer. Sad, is a different story. He darn near sits on top of you and must be touching you at all times!

Training is important, but if your son is 10 and can understand your instructions to not sit on the dog, don't pinch/pulll hair etc, he may thrive training the dog. I understand that autistic children are very regimined (same foods, same routine) and to some extent, I have found my Max is the same. The training is very routine, and in short sessions when just a pup. If your son does things the same way all the time, uses the same word or signal all the time, he may be very successful in training a pup (with your help obviously more to it than just training). You may find that it builds self esteem and your son's independence and cofidence.

How does your son do with people? Mastiffs bring a lot of attention? If you socialize the pup (and you MUST) can your son handle the interactions with other people? at the pet store? vet? park? How about physical strength? Can he hold back a 150 pound dog who wants to go see a pretty girl pup? Consider both senarios here. If he is overwhelmed by people, often strangers coming towards him, will it overwhelm him? Would it build his interpersonal skills? And, will he freak if the dog pulls and let go of the leash? Will he be able to understand to stand his ground with the dog and take on the boss role?

I admire you for researching and for loving your family enough to consider all sorts of ways to help your son work through his special situation. As you research, talk to trainers and make sure that you have someone who is really capable of understanding your son's communication ability and the need for his consistency. Consider hand signals for the dog training. Use picture charts for reminders for your son about the dog's care and training schedule... potty/poo training, crate training (relate his safe zone/spot to the dog's crate so he can relate), feeding amount and schedule (consider your son hand feeding kibble then high value treats to teach the dog this boy is the key to all happiness).

Because your son may require medical care, emergency care, make sure that strangers can get near the child. The last thing you need is a dog who decides that the boy is his and nobody can come near! They can be super protective too!

Please keep us updated on your decision and progress. I will pray that you are paired with an angel dog who will be just right for your son and family.

 

[cj-sharpy]

What a great idea. An EM could be perfect for you as long as your son likes big boys.


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[TWW]

A EM most likely would be a very good match for what your looking for.
Your most likely looking in the 1500 to 2000 range for a quality pup with tested parents in the area your in.

You will see a lot for 1000 and less but you would be taking a major guessing game on possible future health issues.

June 2-7th there is a large show in Wilmington which according to part of Columbus you live in, could be a 45 min to 1h and 15 min drive, but there will be a large number of breeders from the area there.
If you do decide on a EM pup make sure to meet at least one of the parents.

There are some good breeders around Columbus and some really bad ones, just be careful there.

Has your son been around a EM before? I'm in Columbus quite often on the weekends, if you would want to meet one and see how he is around the small horse of a dog they are.

 

[Boxergirl]

I think an EM may be a great fit for you. I also agree that buying from a good breeder is a must. I would visit shows and try to develop a relationship with a breeder that can fit a dog to your family, be it a puppy or an older placement. I think it's really going to come down to finding just the right temperament that will work and that's where you need the help of a good breeder.

I also wanted to add that it's great to see someone taking the time to do their research on something this important. I think your son is very lucky to have you as an advocate for him. Our best friend has two autistic boys. One highly functioning and one severely autistic. They're very special to all of us and great kids. I think the youngest would really benefit from a furry friend, but they just aren't ready yet. Wishing you the best of luck finding your new family member.

 

[Beta Man]

There is a Cane Corso breeder in Dayton who is quite reputable, but if I were you, I would probably look at Newfoundlands

 

[HeatherA]

I think the EM would be a a perfect fit!!

 

[Jakesmum]

I have BM, similar temperament to an EM. Before he had health issues he was a therapy dog and I took him to the local hospital to visit with the patients, we would go to the Hospice ward, palliative care ward as well as the Psychiatric ward. He would amaze me every time we went with how calm and intuitive he was. Most rooms we went to if the patient was very ill he would want to just lay on the floor beside the bed and stay there as a comfort for the patient. In the Psychiatric ward we never knew what to expect and he seemed to pick out the ones who needed the attention the most regardless of their state of mind at the time and lay down near them to be pet and be a comfort to them. I think that choosing a mastiff for your family is a great choice.

 

[gilles]

whatever dog you choose it will be of a great benefit to your son and a faithful companion

 

[Nitrojedi]

French Mastiffs would do well with this too, they are as clingy as they get and love being with their owners...

 

[zardac]

We've had two mastiffs and about 20 kids with Autism (emergency foster care and two adoptions).

I think the suggestion to go to the show, or to meet TWW's dog is a great idea and I'd make a real effort to do so.


Our dogs have done well with kids with special needs.

A mastiff puppy will display puppy behavior however- and this could challenge your child.

Our mature dog was laid back and unflappable with children.


This laid back and unflappable attitude is a factor with training.

Mastiffs are rarely described as bright, enthusiastic, and eager to please

Our mastiffs consistently displayed a contemplative approach to compliance.

Experience with labradors and blue heelers might set you up with some unrealistic expectations.

 

[TWW]

Mine have always been actually pretty smart but applied it, when it seem to benefit them the most. Mine have also been pretty eager to please but just at there own pace.
Enthusiasm on the other hand seems to be with the line, higher energy lines seem to be a bit more than low energy lines.
Also energy levels seem to be weird, has the highest energy level I've every seen was Romeo a 245lb Mastiff that you would think was a over sized Jack Russell. Mouse is for a mastiff pretty high energy, he plays 3 to 5hrs a day and still does his 30 min morning walk and hour evening walk. Though past EM DaVader was super low energy, chewed everything, but was from a byb and also taught me exactly how many vet bills a EM can give you from bad breeding.
Why I will now and forever swear by pet insurance and health testing.

We've had two mastiffs and about 20 kids with Autism (emergency foster care and two adoptions).

I think the suggestion to go to the show, or to meet TWW's dog is a great idea and I'd make a real effort to do so.


Our dogs have done well with kids with special needs.

A mastiff puppy will display puppy behavior however- and this could challenge your child.

Our mature dog was laid back and unflappable with children.


This laid back and unflappable attitude is a factor with training.

Mastiffs are rarely described as bright, enthusiastic, and eager to please

Our mastiffs consistently displayed a contemplative approach to compliance.

Experience with labradors and blue heelers might set you up with some unrealistic expectations.

 

[DennasMom]

I'll put my vote in for an EM, too!

As long as when you say your son likes to be "close" to the dog... he doesn't mind being the one being sat ON.

Denna likes to be up touching her people. She tends to sleep pushed up against me (and hogging the covers), unless it's too hot in the room. In the summertime she spends more time on her own bed on the floor.

I also will double what Zardac mentioned - training and working with a Mastiff is MUCH different than training a retriever, terrier or lab. As long as you're willing to work with the puppy on communication and finding the right motivation for the dog, you'll be in business. Our last dog had some lab in him, and he was very much the uber-willing trainee. He would learn ANYTHING you wanted, and was always looking for another command from his people, and all he wanted in return was a smile and a pat on the head. Denna, on the other hand, needs to know what's in it for HER. Sure, she'll roll-over if you have a treat in your hand... but otherwise... eh. She's just not that excited about it. She has more important things to do - like Supervise the neighborhood. Independent guardian breeds have a different definition of "job" than retrievers, for sure!

I'd say Denna is a mid-energy mastiff. She does love her naps, especially when the sun is shining. But she can also do a 3 mile jog (trot for her, jog for me), very comfortably (as long as it's <65F outside... she slows down fast when it warms up).