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More then one way to save a life - service versus emotional support - long and maybe oversharing

Nik

Well-Known Member
Some of you may recall that I have been working towards training Diesel towards being my service dog since bringing him home. Once we got Kahlua I started doing the same with her as I wasn't sure which would be better suited. The service they are training towards (also supported by my doctor who believes it a necessary thing based on a few too close of calls) is an asthma alert dog. I get extremely severe asthma attacks that sometimes hit me with no warning to the point where I am unable to get to help or my inhaler if it isn't already close on hand.

Kahlua started actually accurately alerting me to my asthma attacks before they happen. It turns out she has a natural talent for this. Once I realized this was something she was already sensitive about it seemed natural that she is the one who should be registered as my service dog once training is complete. She is able to know when an asthma attack is oncoming and she already alerts me. The rest is getting through Canine Good Citizen and proofing her for perfect bomb proof behavior.

But, here is where things get a little more complicated and weird. I hesitate to share the rest of this story because I am not sure if it is oversharing and it is vulnerable for me. But, I also feel like maybe there is someone out there that will identify with this or who will find it useful. You never know right? We all think we are the only "only one" but we never really are.

Asthma is a very real physical threat to me. It is a medical condition and something I don't really have a problem discussing with my doctor on how to combat. I hate the feeling of not breathing and the helplessness involved. It can be scary.

But, there are other things on the emotional/mental side that I struggle with that I have a hard time recognizing as a viable threat to my wellbeing or safety. And these are things I haven't actually discussed with anyone. Not a doctor, not my husband, not my closest friends. I have high levels of anxiety, panic attacks and at my worst suicidal thoughts. I have never tried to kill myself. I have had two close family members take their life and it was heart breaking. I like to think I would never give into these darker thoughts. I would like to think I wouldn't do that to those who care about me. I know the heart break being on the other end of suicide. I wouldn't want to put anyone through that... but there were times when I was younger when I would purposefully put myself in dangerous situations (like walking alone at night through very unsafe neighborhoods). I haven't done anything of that sort in years and I would like to think that with age comes the maturity to ignore those thoughts. Sometimes I go such long stretches without those sorts of thoughts that I start to believe those issues are purely situational and nothing wrong with how my emotional state, brain processes or anything else. But, it doesn't seem to take a whole lot to send me into that dark spiral of thoughts so maybe there is something more to it then just the occasional bad situation to work through.

The problem with psychological issues is there is the inclination to think you can battle them and overcome them with nothing more than a little willpower. It is all in your head. I know the faultiness of this thinking and when it comes to others I will 100% of the time always tell them so. When it is yourself it is different. It's me. Of course I can will it away if I am just strong enough, smart enough, determined enough, etc. And that is pretty much how I have lived my entire life. Battling it in secret. So what if you spend nights or days sobbing alone for hours until you break blood vessels in your eyes or throw yourself into an asthma attack. You deal with it and don't bother anyone else with it and eventually you come out the other end. No big deal. Nobody else is bothered with it and you force your way through. And the thoughts you ignore those too. You fight to ignore them and promise yourself you will never give in to them so it doesn't matter at all.

I never questioned that I was dealing with this the right way until Diesel. You see while Kahlua has saved my life a few times now by warning me of an impending asthma attack and pushing me towards my inhaler so I would grab it before the attack struck I am starting to think that Diesel has saved me from myself a few times now. So here I am having always battled through this alone and made sure to hide it from anyone in my life. But, it is impossible to hide it from the dogs. And just like Kahlua knows when I am about to stop breathing Diesel seems to know the difference between regular crying at a sad movie or in a normal way versus the bad kind that is associated with darker thoughts. He won't leave my side. He leans into me or sometimes tries to climb into my lap. Mostly it seems like he is not just trying to comfort me but also trying to knock me out of my own head and make me aware of the outside world. Which is sometimes what is really needed.

This is all at the forefront of my mind because I had one of the worst incidents that I can remember in recent years.

This was last week when my husband's mom told him without warning that we would have to move out of the house within 6 months. He has been in this house for over 15 years, paying her mortgage and property taxes, making repairs and updates on the house as needed etc. I moved in 7-8 years ago and I immediately started making upgrades on the house as well (new floors, getting rid of the ivy that had half taken over the back yard, new paint inside, etc.). On the exact same day we learned this my ex-boss coincidentally offered me a job. A job that would immediately be a huge title jump for me and has the potential for a life altering payout if his start up performs how he expects it to within the next year. But, the job would require insane hours, a commute up to SF, parking in SF and I couldn't move out of this area for at least a year (maybe a year and a half) and it is a gamble (high pay out potential but high risk). And once we are out of our current home we can't afford anything else in this area. We were paying mortgage on a house that was bought so long ago that it isn't even close to being on par with everything else in this area. And she isn't willing to work with us on the timing.

So the stress of it all got to me. I couldn't help thinking well if something happened to me the insurance pay out would be big enough that my husband could easily put a down payment on something great and the entire issue would be solved. And yes I know this is faulty logic and that my husband and my dogs would prefer to have me around. I am also aware that my long term earning potential far exceeds any life insurance payout. And these are the arguments I have with myself when I am in that state of mind. And then Diesel was there at the worst of it pressing into me to remind me I'm not alone, climbing into my lap and refusing to let me get trapped in my thoughts.

My understanding of what he does for me is that this is more in the way of an emotional support dog. But, here is what all the needlessly long description above wraps up to... Each of my dogs seems to have a remarkable talent for assisting me but in different ways.

Diesel is extremely in tune to my state of mind and he is very sensitive to the changes and always looking to help. As quick as he is to eliminate safety threats (like that scary bug) he is just as quick to eliminate emotional or psychological threats.

And Kahlua seems psychic in her ability to know when I am about to have a horrific asthma attack. As relentless as Diesel is in pulling me out of an emotional tailspin Kahlua is equally relentless in making sure I get to safety or the tools I need before my attacks hit.

And I guess that is the only point to this thread. There is more than one way to save a life.
 

Courtney H

Well-Known Member
So sorry to hear you’re having this struggle. My husband has severe asthma and allergies. Actually, he’s allergic to dogs. But loves them so much he couldn’t resist having them.

I have the other end of your struggle. For as long as I remember. And my dogs save my life every day. They know when I’m having more than a “bad day”. They sit on my lap or on my feet and refuse to pull away. Some days I just need to lay on the floor with them and they cannot get close enough. They are my emotional support dogs, my best friends. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own head and I separate myself from the world. Some days I struggle to get out of bed and go to work. I have my own health problems that are hard to cope with (hypertension, poly-cystic ovarian diseas, and endometriosis). I had surgery to remove the endometriosis scarring and one of my ovaries two years ago. I wasn’t even 30.. I will probably never have children, so my dogs are my children.

My dogs help me every day. They are my world. Hopefully this helps you a little, to know you’re not alone.

Take care of yourself!
 
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Boxergirl

Well-Known Member
It does sound like both of your dogs are already performing actual tasks that would qualify them as service animals - with the proper additional training. You should know that there is no place to register a service animal, so if you choose to continue working toward them being service dogs, don't pay for any type of certification or paperwork. It's not required for a service dog. All they must do is perform a specific task related to your condition. In addition to behaving as they should in public areas. The comfort given by an emotional support animal doesn't qualify as a task so they aren't afforded the same rights as a service animal.

As for the rest of it, please know that you're not alone. My daughter and I both struggle. I'm not comfortable discussing on an open forum, but please PM me if you'd like. Sometimes talking to someone that understands can help. And keep working with the dogs. I know that Otis is my daughter's life line.
 

Nik

Well-Known Member
So sorry to hear you’re having this struggle. My husband has severe asthma and allergies. Actually, he’s allergic to dogs. But loves them so much he couldn’t resist having them.

I have the other end of your struggle. For as long as I remember. And my dogs save my life every day. They know when I’m having more than a “bad day”. They sit on my lap or on my feet and refuse to pull away. Some days I just need to lay on the floor with them and they cannot get close enough. They are my emotional support dogs, my best friends. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own head and I separate myself from the world. Some days I struggle to get out of bed and go to work. I have my own health problems that are hard to cope with (hypertension, poly-cystic ovarian diseas, and endometriosis). I had surgery to remove the endometriosis scarring and one of my ovaries two years ago. I wasn’t even 30.. I will probably never have children, so my dogs are my children.

My dogs help me every day. They are my world. Hopefully this helps you a little, to know you’re not alone.

Take care of yourself!

Thanks Courtney! I am sorry to hear that you struggle with this also (and also about your other health issues) and am so glad you have your dogs for comfort and that they are so in tune with you. Mine never cease to amaze me.

I also want to say that I don't want anyone to be concerned. I've always gotten through no matter how dark things have seemed and that was even before I had my amazing intuitive dogs. :)

With all the life changes we are looking at moving to Oregon or Washington. The when is entirely dependent on if I take this job and if we can find any housing we can manage to afford around here. Oregon and Washington are so much more affordable and I really am looking forward to living in the area in a larger place with a bigger yard and less torturously hot days in the summer. There's a lot I will miss here (top of the list my friends and family) but there is so much beauty up there and a better quality of life I think. I think this move is inevitable.
 

Nik

Well-Known Member
It does sound like both of your dogs are already performing actual tasks that would qualify them as service animals - with the proper additional training. You should know that there is no place to register a service animal, so if you choose to continue working toward them being service dogs, don't pay for any type of certification or paperwork. It's not required for a service dog. All they must do is perform a specific task related to your condition. In addition to behaving as they should in public areas. The comfort given by an emotional support animal doesn't qualify as a task so they aren't afforded the same rights as a service animal.

As for the rest of it, please know that you're not alone. My daughter and I both struggle. I'm not comfortable discussing on an open forum, but please PM me if you'd like. Sometimes talking to someone that understands can help. And keep working with the dogs. I know that Otis is my daughter's life line.

Service dogs have some good protections but as you said the emotional support ones don't. I was under the impression that anything psychologically related was considered emotional support rather than service but I think I would have to look into it further. I never checked on that since I already had a doctor recommendation to get a support dog for my asthma. Diesel is getting closer every day to being ready for his Canine Good Citizen. A lot of it is just drilling what he knows and waiting for his age to calm him a little more. Every day the ADD tendencies disappear more and he becomes more mature.

Kahlua is also so close to being Canine Good Citizen ready.... but we have to work on her fear of skateboards and nervousness around strangers. She just doesn't want them near her and doesn't want to be left alone with them so she would fail that portion of the test. More to work. More to drill. More to practice. But, all so worth it. They are already such amazing dogs and getting better every single day.

Also thank you for the comraderie. I completely understand not wanting to go into detail on a public forum. I hesitated to post about this but it has been weighing on my mind a lot and if it can help someone else out there then maybe there is purpose in it. :)
 

Boxergirl

Well-Known Member
Nik, I don't know how much doctors really know about the ADA guidelines. A support dog for something like asthma would definitely be a service dog. Emotional support dogs don't *d0* anything. They don't perform a specific task. They just provide support because they're there. If that makes sense. As for psychiatric support animals, they need to perform a disability mitigating work or task item. Like DPT. Deep pressure therapy. Pretty much what Diesel is already doing for you, you'd just need to refine it.

https://www.psychdogpartners.org/resources/frequently-asked-questions/faq-training-beyond-basics