How To Train A Daughter- In-Law

[Elana P]

Hello Everyone,

Our Charlie at five and a half months old, is over 23 inches at the withers, and getting close to 70 lbs of rambunctious, bouncy puppyhood.

My Daughter in law, is five foot nothing, and 90 lbs on a good day, and not at all an assertive individual.

Are you starting to get the idea of what this post might be about???

Charlie, listens to me.
Charlie, listens to my son, most of the time.
Charlie, listens to my Daughter in law, only if she has a treat in her hand.

Yesterday in the back yard, my dimunitive D-I-Law, was taking out the trash to the bins. On the way back, Master Chuckle Bum, decided that he wanted a good old fashion rough housing session.

Well, away he went, tearing around the yard like a Clydsdale horse after a week in the stable. The ground shook, the birds fled from the trees, my poor tiny D-I-Law screamed as he came barrelling towards her like a giant bat out of hell.

Almost making contact, Chuckie stopped, tearing up some frozen grass, ice, and snow, veered around her and went for another gallop. Then he started doing the dance and jump, with D-I-Law trying to yell at him to stop.... yea right.

Luckily I was home, and heard the commotion and put a stop to the silliness.

From day one, I have been strongly encouraging her to get involved in the training part of Mr Puppy, but she just doesn't seem to get it, sigh...

She loves him, he loves her, but......

Any advice?

 

[Hector]

Question is why did the puppy zoomies need to stop? The dog was just having fun and burning some energy and most likely the dog doesn't know what stop means.

 

[Elana P]

Question is why did the puppy zoomies need to stop? The dog was just having fun and burning some energy and most likely the dog doesn't know what stop means.

 

[Elana P]

Nothing wrong with zooming, but when he started the dancing and jumping up at her, it became a bit of a problem. Wouldn't let her get back into the house.

And btw, 'the dog' (aka Charlie) knows the word 'stop' and 'no' very well. He just doesn't listen to her.

 

[Hector]

How do you say it vs how does she say it? Body language and tone? Has she told him no firmly and then walking away? Why didn't he let her back in the house...? Was he blocking the doorway? So did you tell Charlie to stop so your DIL can go back in the house?

 

[Hector]

In all honesty if the individual is unable to be assertive and make the dog listen then it is your job to make sure your dog doesn't harm the individual in any way. Serve as their protector and make the dog listen. The dog should not be allowed to bully anyone just because it doesn't listen to a certain individual. I don't expect my dog to listen to anyone nor has anyone tried to command him. They won't need to anyway because I am always watching him and making sure he has good manners around kids or when we are at someone else's house or if someone is at our house.

 

[DennasMom]

Oh boy.

You could have her keep treats on her person at all times and randomly have him 'come' / 'front' / 'sit' and once he's calm, provide said treat.
You could also (or instead of) post treat jars all over the house, and again, have her randomly ask the pup to do things for her.

Don't let her scream! (I know... reaction... but... really??)

I'd be very happy the "Chuckle Bum" slid to a stop in front of her and didn't just slam into her!

You could also have them play some regulated games of tug - where SHE controls the game. She gets the rope, she asks Charlie to 'come play'.... she gets to ask him to "take" the tug, "pull" on it, and then "give" / "drop" / "stop" ... and reward him when he does - "good!" followed by re-engaging for more tugging fun is normally reward enough (no treats needed, if the pup knows the "stop" or "give" command)... and when SHE decides the game is over, puts the toy away, gives him a pat on the head for a "good game" and leaves it at that. You'd probably need to supervise their first few games, so you could reinforce her commands as being ones the puppy needs to listen to and obey.

I think she could really benefit by working with Charlie. She doesn't need to yell - have her whisper the commands (if he knows she has treats, he'd obey, right??)... and as she gains confidence using the treats, she can start to only give food rewards randomly... she just needs to build up to it, she can do it! Do you have a clicker? Would she be willing to train Charlie a few tricks with the clicker?

My aunt-in-law is a petite Vietnamese woman, who's afraid of dogs... she wants to not be afraid, which is good, so she occasionally tries to call them over for a pet... but I pretty much have to guide all her interactions with the dogs and be there to reinforce any command she gives them. We don't see her more than once a year, so Denna's never had a chance to really learn to follow her lead, either.

But, if the DIL is not a willing participant... then, I'd have to agree with Hector... you have to make the DIL off-limits to Charlie (in Charlie's mind) unless you're around to supervise, which is no fun.
Good luck!

 

[Elana P]

In all honesty if the individual is unable to be assertive and make the dog listen then it is your job to make sure your dog doesn't harm the individual in any way. Serve as their protector and make the dog listen. The dog should not be allowed to bully anyone just because it doesn't listen to a certain individual. I don't expect my dog to listen to anyone nor has anyone tried to command him. They won't need to anyway because I am always watching him and making sure he has good manners around kids or when we are at someone else's house or if someone is at our house.

Oh boy.

You could have her keep treats on her person at all times and randomly have him 'come' / 'front' / 'sit' and once he's calm, provide said treat.
You could also (or instead of) post treat jars all over the house, and again, have her randomly ask the pup to do things for her.

Don't let her scream! (I know... reaction... but... really??)

I'd be very happy the "Chuckle Bum" slid to a stop in front of her and didn't just slam into her!

You could also have them play some regulated games of tug - where SHE controls the game. She gets the rope, she asks Charlie to 'come play'.... she gets to ask him to "take" the tug, "pull" on it, and then "give" / "drop" / "stop" ... and reward him when he does - "good!" followed by re-engaging for more tugging fun is normally reward enough (no treats needed, if the pup knows the "stop" or "give" command)... and when SHE decides the game is over, puts the toy away, gives him a pat on the head for a "good game" and leaves it at that. You'd probably need to supervise their first few games, so you could reinforce her commands as being ones the puppy needs to listen to and obey.

I think she could really benefit by working with Charlie. She doesn't need to yell - have her whisper the commands (if he knows she has treats, he'd obey, right??)... and as she gains confidence using the treats, she can start to only give food rewards randomly... she just needs to build up to it, she can do it! Do you have a clicker? Would she be willing to train Charlie a few tricks with the clicker?

My aunt-in-law is a petite Vietnamese woman, who's afraid of dogs... she wants to not be afraid, which is good, so she occasionally tries to call them over for a pet... but I pretty much have to guide all her interactions with the dogs and be there to reinforce any command she gives them. We don't see her more than once a year, so Denna's never had a chance to really learn to follow her lead, either.

But, if the DIL is not a willing participant... then, I'd have to agree with Hector... you have to make the DIL off-limits to Charlie (in Charlie's mind) unless you're around to supervise, which is no fun.
Good luck!

 

[Elana P]

Thanks for the input.

My son and daughter-in-law, live with me, so keeping anyone off limits is not an option. We are one household.

Indoors, Chuckie tends to listen to her more readily, but outside, he turns into a big goofy clown of a puppy, and it becomes a different story.

He wouldn't let her back in the house, because he wanted to continue his game. He was having great fun, dancing around her, jumping like a crazy yoyo, ears flying, tongue hanging out, tail wagging madly.

She was telling him no, no, no, NO! but he was just laughing at her.

She did grow up with dogs, but in the Philippines, where the dogs are chained outside, so there really isn't all that much interaction, plus the dogs she's used to are considerably smaller.

Now don't get me wrong, she really loves the big rascal, and he absolutely adores her, but doesn't realize that one good jump and he can break her in half .

We will definitely try more 'supervised' games between the two.
Usually when they play a tugging game, she lets him win in the end, with an "ok ok, you can have your toy....." sigh.....

I even have her feeding him on occasion, to reinforce the idea of who's who in his big head. He sits and stays, when she has his meal in her hands .

When I'd heard the commotion, I glanced out the kitchen window and saw him zooming, then going into his dance routine, with her in the centre, waving her hands at him....no no noing him to no avail.

When I went outside, he zoomed away again, racing around happily, grabbing toys and sticks, tossing them around, just being a puppy. He didn't even try his silly game with me.

We went inside, he followed us in no problems.

 

[Hector]

Try telling her to be more calm and assertive. Don't wave hands frantically. Don't keep saying no no no. Just one firm no and stand her ground. Don't give him attention. When you see him acting like that around her, just go out and verbally correct him.

 

[Hiraeth]

If your DIL is unwilling to participate in training, I'm not sure how you can really expect your dog to listen to her. She's (unintentionally) doing everything wrong - screaming, yelling 'no' repeatedly so the dog learns it means nothing when she says it, paying attention to attention-seeking behavior and therefore reinforcing it... That's just a recipe for a rambunctious dog who is going to continue to ignore her commands.

Sounds like, as other have suggested, this is a situation that calls for management. If he disobeys her and acts like this in the yard, and she's unwilling to learn how to prevent the behavior, then she needs to not be out in the yard with him. Work on recall and rewarding him for coming back inside so that if she needs to go out, she can call him back in, secure him in the house and then leave.

 

[Elana P]

Thanks for responses.

We will definitely be working on this issue, because it's one that can't be ignored.