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HELP NEW PUPPY NOT CONFIDENT BUT VERY AFRAID

1kerbear

Member
My new OEM puppy (10.5 weeks now)has taken to me as the Alpha in the home, she doesn't leave my side and listens to everything I say and appears quite confident with me. However she doesn't listen to my husband and almost seems to run away/cower away from his affection. She has only been with us less than 2 weeks.
The other issue is she hasn't barked and although its nice to not hear a barking dog, she doesn't seem confident in herself. We took her to the Vet for her 10 week shots and she coward away from other dogs instead of growling or barking. I'm very worried.
I have contacted puppy training classes and am going to start with that route. I've asked my husband to participate with her in the classes while I wait on the sidelines or out of the picture completely.
Any other suggestions?
 

Nik

Well-Known Member
It is a good thing she isn't overly barky and a very good thing that she isn't growling at other dogs. She is still a young puppy and with socialization and familiarity with your home and family her confidence should grow.

Since she is confident in you let her see that you are confident and calm in the situations she finds scary. Let her see that you are affectionate with your husband and interact with him and have control of the situation. Has your husband tried to engage the puppy with treats yet? Who feeds her? If it is always you that feeds her maybe try letting your husband feed her half the time so she can see that good things come from him also.

Vets are scary places for puppies. Other dogs can be scary for puppies. This is all normal. Once she is fully vaccinated (and not until then) start taking her places with you. If you are going out for coffee take her with and drink your coffee outside and have her sit at your feet. Feed her small treats for good behavior and calmness.

Socialization and a calm and stable leader should help her gain confidence. As for the barking count yourself lucky if she never starts. A lack of barking doesn't mean a lack of confidence. In many cases it can mean exactly the opposite.
 

Bailey's Mom

Super Moderator
Super Moderator
It is a good thing she isn't overly barky and a very good thing that she isn't growling at other dogs. She is still a young puppy and with socialization and familiarity with your home and family her confidence should grow.

Since she is confident in you let her see that you are confident and calm in the situations she finds scary. Let her see that you are affectionate with your husband and interact with him and have control of the situation. Has your husband tried to engage the puppy with treats yet? Who feeds her? If it is always you that feeds her maybe try letting your husband feed her half the time so she can see that good things come from him also.

Vets are scary places for puppies. Other dogs can be scary for puppies. This is all normal. Once she is fully vaccinated (and not until then) start taking her places with you. If you are going out for coffee take her with and drink your coffee outside and have her sit at your feet. Feed her small treats for good behavior and calmness.

Socialization and a calm and stable leader should help her gain confidence. As for the barking count yourself lucky if she never starts. A lack of barking doesn't mean a lack of confidence. In many cases it can mean exactly the opposite.


Nik's right. Especially about the barking. When we went to see our pup, I did hear her bark...once. She was three months old and was calling, for lack of a better word, her brother that was over by the back fence. When we took her home, she was silent...quiet...hardly made any noise, except in her dreams, little wimpers or tiny little growls. I was a little worried...she was so placid.

I used to take her to my daughter's house and she would sit in the window with her Rottweiler watching the street. Bella would be barking and barking at people outside and Bailey would just sit there next to her. But one day when Bella was taking a break to get her breath, out comes one woof. And that was it, after that, every time we visited, Bella would bark and when she'd stop, Bailey would give out the single "woof." So Cute.

When she was old enough, we took her to the dog park, and on one occasion when she was about 7 or 8 months old (?) we encountered a Giant Schnauzer who just kept barking and barking at her. She took it for a long time just starring at this large noisy dog, and then she just gave out one grown-up sounding bark and it was loud and authoritative and that Giant Schnauzer shut up. Yep, she found her voice. I was elated. And people told me that I'd be sorry, that she'd drive me nuts barking, but they were wrong. She barks when someone is at the door, she barks when she sees someone near the house and she doesn't recognize them. She never barks on walks, but sometimes she whimpers when she hears a friend dog bark. Mastiffs are just laid back.

So don't worry, she'll grow into her bark and she'll let you know when people are coming or she's uneasy with someone.

As for favouring you over your husband, it's normal to be warmer to one person in the house and you are it. But, he can even the playing field. He can be the one who is walking her. He can be the one to feed her. He can be the one to play on the floor with her, toss a ball, BUT NOT play tug until her adult teeth have come in, and even then...reasonably. Hand feeding is a bonding technique. Sitting on the floor and giving her one hand full at a time. All of these work. And here's another thought, I bet you are shorter than your husband, and his size may intimidate her. So, getting down to her level may help her see that he is not that scary...he's friend sized.;)
 

maryl

Well-Known Member
All the above and don't forget at 10 wks she is still very much a baby. She's only been away from her family for 2 wks. Lots of things are bound to be frighting.
 

DennasMom

Well-Known Member
Don't worry about her being shy - that's natural. Try to be encouraging and reward her for being curious... if she backs away from something, tell her she's being silly (that's the tone you want to imply), and to go check that something out... and then YOU go touch the item first, and then call her to you to look at it... pretty soon she'll get the idea the 'checking things out' is something you'd like her to do, and she'll gain confidence the more new stuff she encounters (as long as the encounters always end on a positive note - they can start scary, it's the ending that matters).

Keep introducing new stuff (items, locations, people, etc.), let her take her time and gain confidence in her own senses. It takes patience, but the more time you let her take now - with encouragement - the better.

I agree with having hubby be more involved in training. You can also have him take over some of the feeding times, so they have more bonding time together.

I went on a biz trip when Denna was still really young, so my hubby got good bonding time with Denna as a puppy. I work from home otherwise, and normally am the one that takes the puppy to training classes, so all our dogs are more attached to me than him. It makes him sad sometimes.
 

Davie

Member
My 16 week pup is just coming out of her shell.
She was very timid around new people and dogs when she first went out walks.
We were fortunate that I have an adult dog and my brother in laws puppy Lab (very outgoing) to go walks with.
Plenty of socialising and she is improving constantly, still a little nervy but far more comfortable around other dogs and people.

Get your dog out and let them sniff around. And If you get the chance maybe get it familiar with a neighbour or family members dog (friendly one preferably) and start taking them walks together. Having a friend will help bring the dog out of his shell.