A Sad Morning

[Nik]

This morning as I was headed out to work I noticed a grey cat dead just under the curb in front of my house.

At first I panicked and parked immediately and ran in yelling for my husband because I thought it was Pixie (our outdoor kitty who was Sean's for a very long time pre-me). Pixie is grey and small and I didn't stop to get a good luck before running in to get him.

He assured me, "I just pet Pixie so it can't be her." He came out looked and said "That's the neighbor's little grey cat." Our neighbor has two little girls and they just adopted to cats this year (and also a tiny rat dog). So I look at him and say "We have to go over and tell them." He was still in his pjs (later work day then mine) and he said I should go since he is not dressed.

So I went and the mom answered the door I told her and then the kids ran up behind and she took them to go look. At this point my heart plummets knowing these two little girls are about to see their kitty dead face first in puddle. Sure enough the kids start sobbing as soon as they see their "Rosie". It was absolutely heart-rending and I felt terrible but I know if it was my cat I would want to know what happened. I still can't shake the sadness though.

 

[7121548]

Oh no. How devastating. Those kids were probably heartbroken. Do they know how Rosie died? I'd be almost afraid to know.

 

[Bailey's Mom]

This morning as I was headed out to work I noticed a grey cat dead just under the curb in front of my house.

At first I panicked and parked immediately and ran in yelling for my husband because I thought it was Pixie (our outdoor kitty who was Sean's for a very long time pre-me). Pixie is grey and small and I didn't stop to get a good luck before running in to get him.

He assured me, "I just pet Pixie so it can't be her." He came out looked and said "That's the neighbor's little grey cat." Our neighbor has two little girls and they just adopted to cats this year (and also a tiny rat dog). So I look at him and say "We have to go over and tell them." He was still in his pjs (later work day then mine) and he said I should go since he is not dressed.

So I went and the mom answered the door I told her and then the kids ran up behind and she took them to go look. At this point my heart plummets knowing these two little girls are about to see their kitty dead face first in puddle. Sure enough the kids start sobbing as soon as they see their "Rosie". It was absolutely heart-rending and I felt terrible but I know if it was my cat I would want to know what happened. I still can't shake the sadness though.

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My dear friend, the hardest choices are often the most decent.... You gave them a road into the land of closure, because they knew where they pet went and could start the process. It is a great gift.

This week, I was approached by an old lady that lives in our neighbourhood, walking with the use of a walker, showing her pictures to everyone who would st0p, of her pet, a black and white, short hair cat, missing for a few days....My Heart Broke, because of her age...because she needed her pet...because she would beat on herself for having let her out to explore the world. It's the pain...we feel helpless. And when we don't know (human or animal) we don't have a body to confront, we pine, and pine and pine and beat on ourselves for that moment of inattention or that last walk we granted them. And we suffer...we suffer....

You gave them a gift. They could bring their pet home, dig a grave, bury their "Rosie" and pray for her. They were given the gift of grief and reality at a grave site and they will let go in time and grieve and realize their blessing and, in time, make room for another pet...another little grey cat...or orange...or.... Life Goes On.

 

[Nik]

Oh no. How devastating. Those kids were probably heartbroken. Do they know how Rosie died? I'd be almost afraid to know.

It wasnt obvious from what I could tell looking at the body. My assumption was that Rosie was hit by a car and tossed onto the area just under our curb by impact. But, I have nothing to base that on.

 

[Nik]

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My dear friend, the hardest choices are often the most decent.... You gave them a road into the land of closure, because they knew where they pet went and could start the process. It is a great gift.

This week, I was approached by an old lady that lives in our neighbourhood, walking with the use of a walker, showing her pictures to everyone who would st0p, of her pet, a black and white, short hair cat, missing for a few days....My Heart Broke, because of her age...because she needed her pet...because she would beat on herself for having let her out to explore the world. It's the pain...we feel helpless. And when we don't know (human or animal) we don't have a body to confront, we pine, and pine and pine and beat on ourselves for that moment of inattention or that last walk we granted them. And we suffer...we suffer....

You gave them a gift. They could bring their pet home, dig a grave, bury their "Rosie" and pray for her. They were given the gift of grief and reality at a grave site and they will let go in time and grieve and realize their blessing and, in time, make room for another pet...another little grey cat...or orange...or.... Life Goes On.

It is what I would have wanted if things were reversed but those kids are way too young to face this already.

 

[Bailey's Mom]

Nik, leaving...losing...it is our human condition. When I was four, I lost my grandfather, when I was six, I lost a significant neighbour, when I was 26 I lost a beloved aunt, when I was .... It just kept happening to me and to my friends and family. This is our lot in life, but we fight against it for ourselves and for our dear...dear...beloved pets. We cannot stop the day, all we can is delay it...live it...grieve it...celebrate it...remember to the day, and live on.

I was four when my grandfather died...it is a vague memory. For these children who lost their pet, it will be a vague memory. It will, because their sensibilities haven't been developed, the same level of grief as a human that they have lost....this is childhood. But because they knew the loss, they will value the next person/animal in their life more. It is the hardest road for all of us.... And the view that heaven holds a place for all that have lived in creation, that is an ideal to cling to..hope for....look towards when all else fails.

Honey, they may be too young...you gave them that.

 

[Boxergirl]

Nik, you handled it perfectly. I am sorry that it fell to you to go tell them. That's a crappy job. While I fully understand that death is a part of life, I think this mom handled it very poorly. I don't know how old the kids were, but I'm assuming pretty young. Never, never, never would I have allowed my children to come with me to identify a loved pet that had died in an unknown manner. Luckily this kitty wasn't mangled in any way, but it could have been and that's something the kids don't need to see. As a parent I would have gone to check myself and brought the animal back for a proper burial and that's when I would have allowed the children to see - if they wanted to - and opened a discussion about dying. I also feel pretty strongly that if one chooses to allow their cats to be outdoor cats then you must be prepared for bad things to happen. It's really not a matter of if they won't come home one day, but when. IMO.

 

[Nik]

Nik, you handled it perfectly. I am sorry that it fell to you to go tell them. That's a crappy job. While I fully understand that death is a part of life, I think this mom handled it very poorly. I don't know how old the kids were, but I'm assuming pretty young. Never, never, never would I have allowed my children to come with me to identify a loved pet that had died in an unknown manner. Luckily this kitty wasn't mangled in any way, but it could have been and that's something the kids don't need to see. As a parent I would have gone to check myself and brought the animal back for a proper burial and that's when I would have allowed the children to see - if they wanted to - and opened a discussion about dying. I also feel pretty strongly that if one chooses to allow their cats to be outdoor cats then you must be prepared for bad things to happen. It's really not a matter of if they won't come home one day, but when. IMO.

Ya I also thought they were too young. If I had to guess I would say 8 and 6. As for outdoor cats I agree with you. My husband does not agree. His cat is outdoor only (by the cat's choice, it doesn't ever want to come in) and we have our stray we seem to be sharing with a few different neighbors that is also outdoors. My cat Brr Beary is strictly indoor only and my husband hates that I don't let him outside. But, BrrBeary is also (we strongly suspect) mentally handicapped. He just seems incredibly dumb, has no coordination, runs into things, falls off of things and is generally not exactly cat like or graceful. He is also super sweet and I adore him and am not willing to risk his safety outside.